I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize