You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
