Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
