You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
