So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
