i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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