i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
