she kept yelling 'call me bella'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
