There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
