Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
