i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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