Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
