I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
