Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
