marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm too high and old for this...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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