you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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