So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i think i just lost a toe
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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