escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
