So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
