There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My ass is underappreciated
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
