In the future we'll all be gay
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
