Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
