apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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