i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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