Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
