We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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