So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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