I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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