im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
