4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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