4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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