I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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