Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
