If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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