Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
