just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
