i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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