Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
