Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
