Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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