this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
