Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
