It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Vodka?
Forever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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