At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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