I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
