he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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