found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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