at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
