Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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