If i come over, it means nothing
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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