the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
