that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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