Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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