her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
