no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
