There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Buhtt sex?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
