I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
