By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
