he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
