I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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