nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize