where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
