:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
