We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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