all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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