I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
